He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So much Jack, so little girl.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
