New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
