Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
