you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
