Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
