why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
