how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
