Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
