Is it normal to miss your booty call?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
