Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
