I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
