I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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