i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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