Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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