I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
