Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
