Your dad touched me again.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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