hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have demons in me.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Let's get the cat blown out
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
