No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
