when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
