can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
