I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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