We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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