sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
