adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
