Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
