it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It was confusing and full of hummus
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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