so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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