I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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