Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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