In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
