It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
