I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
