Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
