If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
