so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
"it" just moved
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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