You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
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