I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I had to cum in my sink.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
