also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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