Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
