I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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