How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
