It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
