Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
