It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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