you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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