maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
