i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
