well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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