i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
