I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
