dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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