i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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